Embarassing Illnesses

I have a confession to make; I couldn't handle it.

All week I saw the adverts for Channel 4's 'Embarassing Illnesses' a new programme about a clinic whereby people unafraid to step up and recognise that they've got piles, or dodgy nipples or whatever else can find treatment, safely, unashamedly and on prime time terrestrial television.

This excited me, my little antenna of curiosity had been tingling since Tuesday's 'Virgin School'; the one where a 26 yr old virign actually lost it, on television and I just wanted more. More outlandish attempts at uncovering the hidden voyeur inside us all. This had to be it I thought to myself, this had to be the ultimate series, loads of different people every week, coming in with more and more fucked up, disgusting, bizarre bodily issues.

I missed the beginning but I sat, and watched and saw the girl with the inward nipples. That's alright I thought, she's okay with it, she'd rather breast feed her baby than bother with this nipple issue. That's nice, comforting almost...but then I saw the man with the piles...

Oh no...oh no no no.

Those pictures, those awful unbearable photographs displaying the painfully stomach-churning vomit-inducing images of arseholes, of hemorrhoids...I can safely say I had no idea what they looked like and now I know and it's etched into my brain and it feels like it's itching and bleeding like those puss-ridden balloons...

That's all I saw, that's all I wanted to see, in fact, I left the television well alone after that, well well alone.